I duno what to put here la

For those who responded to my oh-so-emo posts, thank you very much for the notes of encouragement. Even short ones on my chatbox, or short emails in my inbox really meant a lot to me.

I will smile when I see you. That's just how I think things should be. I will laugh when you crack a joke, coz every good joke deserves a laugh. But when I'm alone, I still think of what could have been, rather than what is. Deep down I still cannot accept the fact that I'm back in Malaysia, in a job I rather dislike with almost no time to myself other than work work and work.

When I drive to work, I think of what it would be like if I looked for a job in Aussie instead. Maybe by now I would have gotten my PR. Just maybe.

When I walk under the hot sun, I secretly hope that Malaysia will suddenly have 4 seasons, although I know that it's most likely not going to happen anytime soon. Then I think of the days when I walk out and feel the cool breeze. Or the days where it drizzles all day long and how I'll shiver on my way to Subway to tapau my dinner.

I sometimes think of moving out and renting a place with a few friends. Although if I do that, rental will eat up another part of my almost non-existent salary, if I don't do it now, I will probably never have the chance to live with housemates. Coz living with your spouse is nothing like living with friends, I'm sure. Clock is ticking...

And I looked at the Canadian Immigration website again. In 4 months' time I will have had 1 year of working experience to qualify for the skilled migration, and I'll be 6 points short. Which I can top up if I learn to speak French. Even the most basic level will be sufficient for the 6 points.

But I suspect that most of these issues only arise because of my job. I get paid peanuts, I do work on a charity basis most of the time (although PwC isn't a charity) and which normal human works from 9am till 10pm on a regular basis. Leaving my current job isn't really an option at the moment because I dragged this colleague of mine to do ICAEW with me, and I will feel awful to just leave like that. Sometimes I think I'm too loyal a friend that I'm willing to give up a lot in the name of friendship.

And if I stay it's going to be for 4 years. That's almost as good as staying till I get promoted to assistant manager. OMG.

Well I shouldn't really be complaining. No one likes a friend who whines all the time. No one likes an emo kid who's emo 200 days a year. But I can't seem to find a reason to cheer up. Yet. So I try to put up a happy face in person, and keep the emoing to myself. When I'm driving alone in my car.

I should be thankful I have great friends, I have a job and I'm on study leave.

I will stop whining here.

On a happier note, I am back at uni for classes. And the lecturer was saying the Programme Director is expecting me to get a World Prize for the paper I'm sitting for in Dec. They haven't had people win the world prize in a long time, and I don't know why but they are expecting me to be the highest scorer in the world for that paper.

While I'd kill to actually get a world prize (omg the recognition alone is going to propel me to the moon), one part of me is asking me not to get my hopes up. Coz chances are I'm not going to be good enough for it, and end up devastated. Like how I was devastated when I didn't get a single A20 for SAM, or any marks higher than 90 in uni. Now, if I try to aim for the world prize, and end up 2 marks away from it, I'm going to be devastated again. I never was good enough. Maybe things will be different now, or maybe history will repeat itself. But I don't want to have to go through the devastation again. It might send me straight into depression, considering the state I'm currently in.

Lord, help me.

You go before me
You shield my way
You hand upholds me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your love was shed for me
There's no greater love than this

Hillsong - At The Cross

Updatasi

Bite sized updates since my last emo post:

1. Passed my Accounting exam with flying colours. I seriously though I was going to pass on the dot with 55 marks. Ended up 35 marks higher than my expectation.
2. Worked late all week this week. Work was rather terrible. Shall elaborate elsewhere lest I get blasted at work.
3. Audit & Assurance classes starts tomorrow. After a week of working late, I would like a weekend to chill. But guess I'll be going for classes instead. Lucky me.
4. I seriously want to road trip to Penang.
   
5. I shall go and watch how i met your mother after I post this post. Then sleep.
6. I'm tired. Working late ain't fun. Eating dinner at 10pm is fattening.
   
7. Everytime I reach my client's place, before I turn off the engine and get off the car, I will sit there for about a minute wondering why am I in M'sia, and why am I an auditor in M'sia. Then I walk into the client's office looking so depressed the reception lady must be thinking "poor auditor look at how pitiful he is. I bet I have more life than he".

OK. That's all for now.

Emo post

You know how some friends of yours, everytime you see them they seem to just suck out every ounce of energy you have?

Well there's others whom you actually cherish their presence. I've had the privilege of knowing a few such people. It's always very difficult to pin point how the friendship actually started, or what drew me so close to that particular person. It seems that by the time I'm really close to someone, I can't really recall how it all started.

Some started off in church. Maybe it's because we ended up in the same CG, or maybe it was because we attended camps together. But I sometimes wonder how it actually all began. Coz when I realised how great a friend I have in this person, it was already many years ago, and I was probably too young to remember much anyway.

Some started in tuition classes. It was in the name of bullying another classmate that we got to know one another, and later down the road we went to church together. Again, it could be the many camps we attended, or the fact that we were in the same CG, maybe even the study groups we had together preparing for exams. But all these were way past the starting point of the friendship.

Some started when they sat next to you on a plane to a faraway land. But it's not exactly started, since we didn't even talk, the only interaction we had was me passing you your food and remembering nothing about it thereafter. But still this friend is now someone I can insult who will not feel insulted. All in the name of fun.

Some started during the pre-departure briefing before I headed to uni. We never really talked much then. We never really knew each other (I think) during the first few MSO events. But eventually we started to grow closer. How did that ever happen I have no idea. Maybe it's the whole big box of jelly beans you gave me for my 20th birthday. Maybe that really broke the ice. I'm not too sure. As I said, I can't really put a finger on how it started.

Or maybe I met you when you when we were interns at the same place and later on rejoined the firm as a permanent staff. I probably only knew you existed coz you were just another person in the picture that we took on the last day of our internship. Then when we met again during our training, me being me, obviously shut up and didn't talk much. How we ever got close to each other really beats me since you are also one of those who shut up and didn't talk much. But look at you now...noisy like what only.

In hindsight, I must say I've been blessed with great friends every stage of my life. From my childhood days carrying into my school days, uni days and now into my working life.

If there's something I've learnt over the years, it's the fact that I can never be sure that my friends will be with me all the time. It sucks that someday I would have to wave goodbye. Whether I want it or not. Whether it's because you're leaving or because I'm leaving.

The people I let into my inner circle will change. I will have to let go of some in order to let others in. Maybe it's distance that will draw us apart. Maybe our relationship will turn sour. Maybe it's just not meant to be.

But if there's another thing I've learnt, friends WILL come and go. And since there's nothing I can ever do about the farewell part, I might as well treasure my friends while I have them near me. That way, though farewells are going to be painful, at least I know that I've been the best friend I can ever be to that person, and let it sit in the corner of your memory. Maybe someday when I revisit my life, I will look upon those moments and smile to myself.

不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有

Also, I'd choose 5 really close friends over 500 good friends any day. Which explains why I can be really antisocial and sociable at the same time....

Gobble gobble

Ehjam tomorrow. Accounting. I also don't know what to study. So just hope for the best tomorrow.

Off to Banting tomorrow after my exam. To the hometown of Jing for seafood and look see look see.

Then it's Sunday.

Then it back to work on Monday. Sighs. Going back to the very first client of my auditing career. The one famous for staying late. So I believe I won't appear around much next week.

On the bright side, I watched a crazy load of movies this 2 weeks. Let's see.

• Cloudy with a chance of meatballs
• Law abiding citizen
• Inglorious basterds
• Pandorum
• Surrogates
  

God bless study leaves. =)

1 Down 14 To Go...

I passed my Assurance paper with flying colours!

I got 84 for it. Praise the Lord!

Now to do the same for my Accounting paper this Sat....

Ehjams leh...

I've got my Assurance final e-exam this Saturday.

Then Accounting mock exam on Sunday.

Hopefully I don't fail that so I don't have to go for a second or third mock exam.

By the way, this happened to my car today at Centrepoint:


It's like way too cool okay. I've never seen the double decker thingie being used, and me and Lydia were like jakuns taking pictures and recording a video of them lowering my car. Awesome k.

Life's ups and downs...

Remember the Accounting test I was complaining about?

Well today was the second test. And I think I totally rocked it.

Well, the "think" part is coz I only marked the paper based on the answers which I circled/wrote in the question booklet. I thought as usual, we will have to hand up the question booklet after the test.

Mana tau today we were supposed to transfer our answers to the answer sheet. Which is a totally dumb thing to do.

Firstly, the answer sheet had spaces for options A, B, C, D. The usual la.

Our questions had options A, B, C, D, E, F, G, tick the boxes and fill in the blanks. So for example, if I ticked the boxes, what exactly should I put in the option A, B, C, D. And if the answer was A, C and E, I can shade A and C, but am I supposed to create a box at the side and write E, or should I draw E and shade it (that would be awesome, though pointless =P)

So I had no eye deer how on earth to transfer the answers to the answer sheet. So I didn't do it. And was told I had to at the end of the exam. So I transferred hurriedly transferred the answers. Hoping I didn't shade the wrong boxes and that my minute handwriting was clear enough for the examiner.

So me scoring 98% for this paper is conditional upon me transferring all my answers correctly.

And the 98% wasn't really a fair assessment coz 90% of the paper was from the sample paper in our study manual, and the lecturer hinted to us a gabajillion times to DO THE SAMPLE PAPER.

But it's a good day, and I can study for my e-exam this saturday in peace.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, anyone?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee SIAL

Hello world.

I'm so high right now.

I was going through the Accounting paper (which I supposedly failed) and found that one of the answers was obviously wrong. Like it was STARING straight at me kind of wrong.

So I sms-ed my lecturer (yea it's cool in Sunway lecturers give you their mobile numbers). And she checked it and replied that the answer is wrong and I was right.

And that one mark pushed my 53% to 55%.

ICAEW passing mark for this paper is 55%.

Which means I didn't fail.

Wheeee. So instead of being a plankton I'm actually a small fish. Just that I had inferiority complex at first coz I was made to think I'm a plankton.

Tomorrow another test. Gotta score better. Well, I can actually score la. If the paper wasn't so hard la. Hijo.

Contemplation

My study leave is finally here. I'm off tomorrow. I'm off for the next 2 weeks. Then it's one week of work and then disgusting leave all the way till Dec 8. =P

Wheeee.

A few of us were talking in office today. One intends to apply PR in Australia in the near future. One submitted his PR application and it is being processed. And there's me considering migration to a number of countries.

Yes, I still want to leave. Except I'm not sure if I can actually muster up the courage to pack up everything and hop on a plane leaving for somewhere 8,000 miles away. The longer I stay here the deeper my roots are going to grow. I better come up with something fast. Perhaps resign in a year and apply to PwC somewhere else. I'm not sure.

For now, it's going to be Assurance then Accounting. And then Audit & Assurance in December.

Crap

It's going to be an irony me complaining that I've got no time to study but here I am blogging about my day. I just have to. I have to get it out of my system. Ugh.

So anwyay, if you asked me how my day was, I'll be obliged to reply you "like SHIT".

I woke up with an upset stomach that manifested itself in the toilet. Rushed downstairs, swallowed my brekkie and zoomed off to uni.

And of all days, today had to be the day that some random Canon Photomarathon or some crap event was to be held in Sunway. Near the uni. Ugh. So the whole world was in Sunway. So the parking at Sunway College was full till they blocked off the entrance. And the parking outside also full. So I parked in Zimbabwe and walked to class. Barely made it in time. (Class scheduled to start at 9, I arrived at 9.05?)

Then my efforts rushing to class wasted when the classroom was locked so everyone had to wait outside while a security guard strolled to get the key to open the room.

Great.

Then for some god-knows-why reason, ICAEW chooses to have a test on the first day of the first class during the first hour. BEFORE the lecture is given. So like. It's like you sit for a test covering the entire subject's syllabus BEFORE any formal lecture is given. Crazy I tell you.

And dear me. The question paper today was never meant to see the light of day. It made me, an accounting graduate from the best university in Australia feel like a plankton. I thought they attached the Accounting test cover page to the Advanced Greek 101 question booklet.

Disgusting was the only word to describe it.

And I thought there was NO WAY josay I was going to pass the paper. And I was so right about that.

COZ THE WHOLE FREAKING CLASS FAILED THE PAPER. Obscene can. And more than half the class was Accounting Grads. We were all instantly transformed into planktons.

(Well on the bright side since the whole class failed and I was 1 question shy of passing, I (and the guy sitting next to me) got the highest mark in the class...kiasuness).

Then as if the accounting grad failing an accounting paper wasn't bad enough, on the way back from college, the whole world decided to congregate at LDP. So I took way longer than expected to get home. And then of all days, today had to be the day some random garage sale thingiemajiki was held outside church there one of the shops. ZOMG. It felt like the whole Malaysia was at that sale. So I had to park my car at Kazakhstan and walk across the Pacific Ocean to get to church.

Then after church went to grab dinner. What could have been done in 15 minutes took 40 minutes. Coz:

1. Some people park their car all over the place so 2 lanes become one lane
2. Every single car was driving at 1cm/hour hoping to get a parking spot
3. The whole Malaysia was at Section 14 that night.

So eat d then wanted to go Jaya One to study. Guess where the whole Malaysia was at that time. So frus d just drive home and complain on my blog then study at home.

So there you go. My first failure in an accounting paper, and the day everything was against me.

I foresee Allan laughing terbahak-bahak while he reads this post